things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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