am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
he thought i was a dude.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
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