shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Randomize
