question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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