Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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