If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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