So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
