I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize