we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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