and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
