Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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