I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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