We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Randomize
