You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Randomize
