I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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