I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
