You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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