You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
