And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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