dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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