dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
You were trust falling into bushes
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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