im holly from the hills drunk
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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