He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
