i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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