is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
