You don't have asthma, your pregnant
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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