So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
