Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
