Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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