morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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