You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
