I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
