that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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