I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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