Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
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