Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Randomize
