Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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