I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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