ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
