We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
