If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
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