This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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