There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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