I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
