I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
