My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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