at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
