You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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