i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
