if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Hippo gnu deer
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Randomize
