I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
