Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I need to calm my uterus...
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
