I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
