im drinking this country out of the recession.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Randomize
