im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
