I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
