There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
