Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
