I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
There's even glitter on my cock...
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